UN Anti-Drug Day Soon: Get your execution pay-per-view now!

Don’t miss out! It is less than a month away from the United Nations Anti-Drug Day, June 26. This international holiday is celebrated in China and several other countries with executions of drug criminals. Get your pay-per-view now! Help support the UN’s mission to eradicate from earth the medicinal drug plant, cannabis sativa ! According to the UN Wire, a decade ago China executed 71 drug law violators on June 26, 1999. They should be able to do better than that now!

  • Perhaps methods of execution should be enhanced to expand their appeal to a world wide television audience. The traditional Chinese method of a bullet to the back of the head is frankly, too quick for good TV. And frankly, too easy on these violators of international drug laws!

How about more of a spectacle? Condemned drug prisoners could be taken to the Shanghai zoo and turned over to hungry lions, always a great crowd-pleaser in ancient Rome. Of course, the Chinese are not without their quaint and colorful forms of execution, the Death of A Thousand Cuts comes to mind. Not only would these more punishing forms of execution help boost pay-per-view ratings, they more clearly demonstrate the dangers of drug abuse.

Chinese drug abuser minutes from death.
Chinese drug abuser minutes from death.

Another country bravely attacking the menace of drugs by killing offenders is Malaysia. Those violating laws against the evil plant cannabis are routinely hung in Kuala Lumpur. Perhaps a simultaneous drop of 10 cannabis violators could be added to the UN pay-per-view. Or even 20 hung at once; there are plenty of young Malaysian necks to be wrung, because a trafficing charge brings mandatory death penalty.

  • Remember, it is for a good cause, the UN’s mandate to cause the extinction of cannabis. The evil medicinal plant has been used by people around the globe for relief of pain for thousands of years, drug abusers all!  With the UN’s brave backing perhaps the weed can finally be made extinct, freeing humankind from the from the threat of the plant’s antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, pain-relieving, nausea-preventing, glaucoma-stopping properties.

Although drug executions in Saudi Arabia are over all too quickly, the beheadings of hashish users with enormous swords are always good for audience appeal.

The UN Wire 10 years ago celebrated the low level of opium production in Afghanistan. The Taliban were in power and they “dropped anti-drug leaflets over Kabul on Saturday, warning that those caught growing illegal narcotics would be punished severely.” Without drug violator executions by the Taliban, things have gone downhill. A decade later, opium productions is many times what is was under the Taliban, a new record set nearly each year. Now, though, those growing opium or cannabis can be considered valid military targets by the NATO forces in the country. Perhaps the execution videos could be supplemented by NATO air-strike footage. Footage of Hellfire missiles exploding into farmhouses near illegal crop fields will also help teach those villagers not to grow cannabis, as their ancestors have been doing for millenia.

The UN Drug Control Program came up with a new motto in 1998 when it developed the decade goal of total drug eradication. The motto for the decade just ended was “a drug-free world – we can do it.” Hard-line drug war policies, pushed by the USA, were enthusiastically adopted; harm reduction policies were rejected by the UN. In 2008, a decade later, the goal was unmet. Perhaps the UN should adopt a more attainable motto, such as “an un-free world – we can do it.”

  • For your pay-per-view June 26, 2009 UN Anti-Drug Day Live Executions of Evil Drug Law Violators dial 1-800-THE-UNDCP-SUCKS. Order Now!

6 thoughts on “UN Anti-Drug Day Soon: Get your execution pay-per-view now!

  1. Pingback: ExecutedToday.com » 2008: Tseng Fu-wen, drug dealer

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